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Mad Bastard Scooter Rally
Aliki's Report

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas ...
I mean ... the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally

...But, why jump on a 50cc scooter, dress in silly costumes, perform random acts of madness, drive 750 kms within 24hrs, and not share it with the world?

Andrea from "Dirty Girl Motor Racing" decided to recruit a team of ladies to participate in the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally in June 2009. Using Hondas line up of 50cc scooters, together we formed the team "Dirty Girls on Hondas".

the dolls of team Dirty Girls Each one of us has dedicated a good portion of our lives and careers to the sport of riding. Three ladies possessing unique talents and individual quirks of their own. There's Andrea "Dirty Girl" Goodman, the brains of the organization, seemingly suffering from a rare disease called "Little-Dog-Syndrome-Itis" (power packed into a 5 ft frame). Then there's Barb "I'm-not-wearing-that-skirt!" Paitkowski, who would drop kick me if I were to ever tell anyone that she gave in and wore one for the entire length of the rally... Oops. Third in line is myself, Aliki "Too-cool-for-a-nickname" Karayan, who, of course, has an impeccable reputation and is a perfect angel through and through.

And let's not forget Anisse, Valentina and Alisha, our gorgeous yet slutty blow up doll passengers! They were originally destined to make guest appearances at bachelor parties and partake in all sorts of activities I dare not mention. Fortunately for these gals, they had the privilege to do something a little different with their lives; to seek out and execute sheer madness on a 50cc Honda scooter. Their infamy however, was short lived, but we will remember them always.

dolls for team dirty girls
dolls did all the incriminating work Team Dirty Girls on Hondas dressing up as maids! What a great idea (shear brilliance on the part of Andrea). Barb suggested to also have blow up dolls dress up as maids to add to our ridiculous get-up. Having dolls take part in many incriminating photos could help us gain as many Mad Bastard points as possible. And, more importantly, there will be no incriminating evidence against me and my reputation will still be intact. I happily accepted the idea.

My lovely passenger Annise and I had the privilege of riding the coolest 50cc scooter in the world, the Honda Ruckus. This rugged machine is capable of roughing terrain that a regular day to day scooter could not. I was very surprised that after twenty two hours of full throttle fun my bum was not sore and my back problems seemed to be non-existent. Oh, what a fun little machine.

our dirty dolls
Travelling 750 kms at an average of 40kms/hr, for a total of twenty two hours allowed for some very creative ways to keep us entertained. I had many jollies drafting behind my teammates and attempting to pass them at the right moment, head tucked, full throttle (I have a bit of a competitive streak that seems to emerge every time I participate in some sort of race or rally). Andrea's "Little-Dog-Syndrome-Itis" worked in my favour that day as we both attempted to overtake Barb on all the up hills.

I have to admit that a knee came out once or twice through a corner and I was quickly reminded that at 50 km/hr on a scooter it is a bit counterproductive (OK a LOT counterproductive). But hey, I had to keep myself alert and entertained somehow.

On our travels we stopped by a place called Story Land. Our instructions were to take some "Mad" pictures in Story Land to accumulate more Mad points. Cinderella didn't even know she had it coming! Surprisingly, the Nutcracker was more than happy to receive such love and affection from Barb's passenger Valentina. Our slutty gals effectively managed to defile the innocence of most of our childhood role models. I was so proud. And, more importantly, my reputation was still safe.

slutty gal dolls managed to defile the innocence of our childhood role models
doll catastrophy Half way through the rally Anisse suffered from severe exhaust burns on her right leg which caused her to fully deflate. I was heartbroken. She was my saving grace, and now she was gone. We pulled over to have a bite to eat and assess the situation. Luckily the three of us were all first aid trained and with a little team work, some super sticky tape, an emergency amputation, and some CPR, we were able to revive her. However, she was never quite the same after that. Every hundred kilometres or so we had to pull over and re-inflate her sagging body that hung so sadly over the side of the scooter, inches away from the hot exhaust. Twenty two hours later our gals were not looking too healthy. We sure put them through the ringer.

With the help of Anisse, Valentina and Alisha, two of us managed to place in the top 10 of 75 riders. They gave their lives in the pursuit of Madness. May they rest in peace.

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat!

dolls at the end of the day

Barb's Report - Andrea's Report

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Dirty Girl Motor Racing 2009

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